AKA “Crisis on Infinite Bachelor Parties”

For Danny’s bachelor party, I was asked to run a D&D game that let everyone play their old characters. (This was Dennis’s idea, if I recall correctly.) So I had to come up with a reason for the players who were Gods to lose their divinity. Dennis also suggested I do a massive retcon that would eliminate all the ridiculous things that I used in my game.

So I came up with an explanation for both, using the device used so often in the campaign… time travel.

I was really happy with the story I came up with, and totally unhappy with how the game turned out: it ran twice as long as expected, even after I hacked out a huge chunk from the middle. And Danny, who should have been the star, ended up being underpowered compared to everyone else. Oh well.

The story went as follows: Barton was getting married, and all the old party was there for the bachelor, including those who had ascended to godhood. The only exception was Krazilin, Barton’s best friend, who had sacrificed himself at the conclusion of Book II.

The bachelor party was epic in scope… until something happened. Dr. When was overcome with pain as time completely re-arranged itself, stripping all the gods present of their followers and sending them back to their pre-godhood state. Only Dr. When’s powers shielded them from being erased.

Outside, the world was ruined… the party was never there to defeat the monster at the end of Book II. Other strange creatures were roaming the land, and sentient life was nearly wiped out. The party is attacked from below by a Paragon Truly Horrid Umber Hulk riding a Paragon Axiomatic Bullette.

After defeating it, the party decides to find The Sacrelicious Legacy. It is guarded by a complex system that requires various different magicks to disable. They do so, and launch the great ship for one last ride.

The SL goes into orbit, and has to avoid Lord Invader’s orbital space station and evil versions of all the other characters.

After escaping, they use the classic slingshot maneuver around the sun to travel back in time to the source of the problem.

Traveling back to the formation of the planet, the ship crash-lands on the surface. There, the true culprit is revealed: Krazilin’s spirit changed into a malevolent Phane and he sought to change everything for the party abandoning him. A battle ensues, but not before he can finish his plan to summon “The Godkiller”- a Hectoncharies, one of the most powerful creatures in existence.

The party can only hold it off, but if they keep it busy, it’ll be consumed as the planet forms. They fight bravely to the end, and everything goes to white…

It is a new day, and once again, it is Barton’s wedding. The party has succeeded in stopping the Godkiller from wiping out life in the universe, but has changed history.

Krazilin is there to be Barton’s best man in the new reality. Certain pieces changed (Star Wars parodies gone, Star Trek references gone, Blitzes gone, etc.) And there are still plenty of new stories to be told…


The Kaigland Chronicles davethegame